Jump Start Own Happiness

Sometimes in life we need to jump-start our own happiness. What I mean to say is that if we just plug away each day waiting for something good to happen, most of time those moments are impossible to recognize. However, if we call up a friend for a cup of coffee or make dinner plans with someone we haven't seen in a while, these are opportunities that can bring us happiness and joy- and they are self-created. In those moment we are instrumental in our own happiness and that can make all the difference in the world.

I have tried to live my life by a certain set of ideals that I have established for myself. Things that I feel are too important to be left out of the mix. Things that I hope by maintaining will bring about some joy and happiness in my life- on an ongoing basis. My wife has adapted to many of my ideals, but after all, they are mine and as crazy as that sounds it has worked for many years. Here are a few of them so you know what I'm talking about. If I were to speculate, I would imagine that you probably have a few of your own.

Every morning that I wake up, before my morning coffee, I start my day with a hot shower, both as a physical cleansing and a spiritual cleansing. I use this quiet time in the shower to pray and to thank God for another day of life and health. I imagine that as I wash away the impurities of the night, I am also washing away the impurities of my mind and my spirit. It's become sort of a ritual for me and as a routine I have gotten used to this for more than 25 years. By doing this one act first thing in the morning it actually sets my tone for the day and I like my world ordered and at peace as much as possible. Plus it's so refreshing to start the day clean and showered.

Something else that I have put into my routine is that I always find time after work to socialize with my wife or my friends and have a glass of wine. I call it my "wind down" period. This is a special time for me and it helps me reflect on the day and also provides me with the opportunity to share my day with others.

My wife and I enjoy cooking at home so we try often to make dinner an event, not just throwing food on the table and inhaling it. I turn the music on, pour a glass of wine and start to cook. The whole kitchen comes alive and it's a fun time in our home. Depending on the day of the week, we also invite friends or family over to share this time with us. The food is always great, but it's not about the food really. It's about the ambiance- the aromas of seasoning and cooking, the taste of good wine and the music of our parent's generation that always bring joy to our hearts. Life was meant to be lived and to be shared. Dinner is one those moments that are universal around the globe. It's one of those moments where you can actually reset the tone of the day back to vibrant if somewhere along the way your day got off track. All you need is good food, good wine, good music and people you love to share it with.

These are just a few of the things that I have tried to incorporate into my own life to help me through the difficult times when they arise. There are blessings all around us if we choose to see them. But we have the power to create some amazing moments whenever we want and sometimes it's as easy as making dinner.

Staying Busy Helps

One of the benefits of staying busy is that our focus is drawn into whatever we are working on and when times are tough, that's probably the best thing that we could do. Having work is blessing and being able to stay busy in our work is also a blessing. Over the last few weeks as we get resettled into our life back here in our home, it's been a process to get up and running again, but things are definitely on the upswing. As difficult as things still are, by not having to focus my attention on them for hours at a time, lessens the sting because my attention is drawn away into my work.

I remember years ago that my parents shared a little wisdom with my sisters and I, the same wisdom that parents today are still sharing with their children. If you're experiencing a bad day, try and help someone else with their problems. In doing so, you will feel better and your bad day may not seem as bad anymore. I know that this principle works because I have used it time and time again throughout my life. It's along the same lines as the famous quote that says, 'I felt bad that I had no shoes until I met a man that had no feet.' It seems that no matter how bad things are at the present, there is always someone who is having a more difficult time.

Every day that we awake is a new beginning. It's an opportunity to start the day fresh without dragging yesterdays troubles and negativity along for the ride. Things may not have turned around and difficulties may still be present, but if I can keep my attitude positive and strong that can make the difference between a bad day and a good day.

Waiting is the hardest part

As frustrating as it can be, sometimes we just have to wait. Whether it's a long line at the grocery store, or sitting in traffic barely moving, or waiting to hear back on something of importance- there really isn't much that we can do other than just wait. Maybe it's the lack of control that we feel being at the mercy of something or someone that we have no control over that is what really bothers us. In my current state it's most likely the latter. Where we are right now we just have to keep moving forward one day at a time and wait for things to change.

I realize that we have some say in our future and we are not sitting idly by while fate takes it's good ole' sweet time t bring about change. Both my wife and I are active participants in our own drama and both of us are trying every single day to stay focused on work and home to help bring about the change that we so desperately need in our lives right now. It reminds me of a story that my Dad told me years ago on the subject of asking God for help. It goes something like this.

If you are out of work and low on money and you need a job, praying to The Lord to help you find a job is fine, but you also have to put yourself in a position where God can actually bless you. If you pray to God to help you and then sit on the couch everyday eating BonBon's watching 'Days of Our Lives', there's not much that God can do to help you get a job. However, if you wake up every morning and take a shower, put something clean and presentable on to wear and get a newspaper and start circling job opportunities to call on, your chances of finding a job increase dramatically because you become an active participant in your own future. Basically you are putting yourself in a position where God can actually bless you.

So this made sense to me and I have tried to apply the principles of this story often in my own life when times have been tough. Historically it has helped me and so I try again in my current state. I understand that our need for immediate relief is more important to us at the moment and that things cannot happen fast enough. However I have always tried to be a realist and I know that sometimes things just take time. It's difficult to wait when you need something so badly simply because when times are tough, the waiting only adds to the stress, and the more time that goes by, the more problems begin to mount, thus becoming self-perpetuating.

When looking for a blessing in the midst of all of this it's difficult to find one. The only thing that that comes to mind is that I still have the memory of all the stories and the pep-talks that my Dad shared with me over the many years that we had together before his passing. I have referred back to these stories often when I needed a word of wisdom or a kick in the pants and this time in my life is no different. So thanks for the memories and the stories Dad- I miss you and I'm thankful for the many years that we had together. It's like you're still here encouraging and comforting us all along the way and at least that makes the waiting a little more tolerable.

At the place of the sea

Yesterday was an extremely difficult day for me. Still trying to get settled into our home in Connecticut, while trying to sell our home up north is presenting it's own set of challenges. Needless to say, finances are at the top of that list. Trying to maintain a healthy attitude in the midst of a storm is harder than it sounds. I found myself yesterday standing at the place of the sea; figuratively speaking that is. I was trying to wrap my head around everything that's happened and what is still happening and there is no logical reason that makes any sense to me whatsoever.

When the children of Israel were enslaved in bondage in Egypt for well over 400 years, they had been crying to The Lord to send them a deliverer to free them. Generations of people died never seeing the deliverer, and years passed. Then one day God answers their prayer, 430 years later, and sends Moses to deliver them. To make a long story short, he leads them out of Egypt into the wilderness to wander for weeks until finally making it to the edge of the Red Sea. Meanwhile Pharaoh's armies are chasing them and have them trapped in the desert with no where to go. Armies poised on the one side and the Red Sea on the other- this is what you might call a dilemma. The scripture says that the children of Israel complained to Moses, but I would imagine it was a bit more intense than that. They asked Moses why God had taken them out of Egypt only to bring them into the desert to die. I know it sounds crazy, but I get that. I understand their concerns and their frustration. Let me explain.

Last Spring when my wife and I discussed the possibility of moving out of Connecticut, it was for the most part, strictly for financial reasons. It is very expensive living here and everything costs more here. We both were tired of always working for money to pay bills with little to nothing left after every paycheck. Moving to a less expensive state with lower taxes, into a smaller home with fewer expenses seemed like a plausible idea. Being believers, we prayed to God and asked for His blessing and for His guidance to make sure this was a wise move for us at this time. Weeks passed and we talked some more. I realized that our businesses weren't being blessed while we were living here so I asked a seemingly ridiculous prayer. "Lord, if you're not blessing us enough to stay here, then please at least  bless us enough to leave" and within weeks both of our businesses prospered to where were were in a position to purchase a home up north without having our home sold yet, including having money for moving expenses.

Now, after being back in our Connecticut home we are looking around almost in a fog wondering why God would take us out of our home, bring us up north, let us get settled in, spend thousands of dollars buying a home, registering our vehicles and moving twice in 90 days, only to bring us back into our original home, that- by the way, never sold. It seems absolutely unreal. I definitely feel like I am standing at the place of the sea. Not quite sure if the armies of Pharaoh will destroy me or will I drown in the sea in front of me. Only God knows. But for the moment, I have to find something to be thankful for so here goes. There's a part of the story about Moses that I haven't shared yet, and that's where he speaks to the children of Israel and says, "Fear not, stand still, and see the salvation of The Lord." There was hope and the sea parted and Israel walked through and were saved.

I have to believe that as with them, there is a salvation coming for my wife and I and this heartache will come to an end. I guess what I am thankful for today is that I still have some hope left inside of me to wait on our miracle. It may not seem like much to someone else, but from where I am standing, it's more powerful than you will ever know.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination

I mentioned that my sister came for dinner the other evening and she gave me a little card- kind of like an early Valentine's Day card. But this card had quite a profound message that has synergy with my message about being thankful. "Happiness is a journey, not a destination." This quote, credited to Father Alfred D. Souza, has within it a very powerful message about life, and about finding or recognizing your life- your real life.

The quote is part of a larger message about waiting for real life to begin. You see, when we are younger we think that when we achieve certain goals or milestones then our "real" life will begin. When we are finally educated, or married, or in that perfect career then our "real life" will begin. When we lose those unwanted pounds and buy "skinny" clothes, then we will be happy and start to really live. In fact, our real life began the day we were born and that journey continues straight forward until we pass on. Every moment throughout our lives is part of the journey. It takes an awakening in one's life to see our journey as our real life and to make the most of each and every moment along the way.

There is this unspoken misconception when we are younger that everything is supposed to fall into place and our lives will turn out fine. If we do certain things then other things will fall into place. When in fact, more times than not, trouble and heartache seem to find each of us along our pathways, and that's okay. In fact, it's the way it's supposed to be. Whether we like it or not, we must go through those difficult times, for it's during those times that our real inner strength and courage is brought to bear and our attitude is perfected. Like gold tried in a furnace of earth, it must be heated many times to remove the impurities so that a precious gem can emerge. I see difficult times in a similar manner, that through these times the impurities of our spirit are forced out or perfected and what emerges in the end is a human being with less imperfections, less negativity and a better quality of character.

Of course I am preaching to myself at the moment, because if truth be told, as I mentioned earlier, I am going through a very difficult time right now and I am trying to maintain my strength and keep my positive attitude in the forefront, otherwise my dark side will start to creep through and trust me- it just gets ugly after that. So this journey that I am on right now, albeit not what I wanted or expected, is my real life. The only comfort that I can find during this time is that even in difficult times, blessings can be found. If I can stay aware of the little things that bring some element of happiness and I can be thankful for those times, it lessens the hurt that I experience while going through this dark time. This is no easy task to talk about, or to accomplish.

From past experiences I know that this trial will end and things will eventually get better, but for now I also know there is only one way through- and that is to just keep moving forward everyday- one day at a time with a positive attitude, even when one cannot be found. Father Souza ends his inspirational message with this line: "This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way, so treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one."

So what's wrong with being grateful?

The main reason for this project is the idea of being aware of blessings in my life on a daily basis, but my reason for starting this was that little kitchen message that read "There is always, always, always something to be thankful for", and today's post is basically just that. Being thankful!

So what's wrong with just being grateful once in a while? I realize that being thankful for something and recognizing it as a blessing can, at time, go hand in hand. Although yesterday was for the most part uneventful, I realized that there are many things to be thankful for. We still have a roof over our heads, we still have electricity and heat to make our domestic lives more comfortable, and we still have food to eat, so we are not starving. My sister was on her way over after work so I made a nice dinner for the three of us. We shared some wine, we talked about life and our jobs and we enjoyed a great meal together- all things that I was especially thankful for. These are real blessings in my life and not to be taken for granted.

I have five sisters that I appreciate and love tremendously. We all try to touch base weekly to keep the lines of communication open. I have a great relationship with all of them, including my sister who came for dinner last night, mainly because we know each other so well. We are very close in age and we even looked like twins when we were kids. We are always there for one another and we have made it a point over the last many years to talk almost every single day. In life, these are the real blessings. Friends are great, but there is something so very special about a brother or a sister that has become as close as any friend could. I've heard it said that you can pick your friends, but if I had to do it all over again, I would still choose my family. It turned out to be a great day after all.

As I laid my head down ready to sleep, I said a silent prayer and thanked God for my sisters. I am blessed to have each of them in my life and I treasure the moments that we share.

Just Keep Plugging Away

Yesterday was, for the most part, an uneventful day for me. Getting settled back into our home has been the focus for both my wife and I and of course, getting our business to grow in a sluggish market has been a top priority. The morning started out relatively quiet so I used the opportunity to organize my office, send out a few emails and make a few phone calls. During the course of the morning and to my surprise two of my past customers contacted me for new work so that put a little zip in my step. I like feeling useful and I love being creative, and my job lets me do both.

Years ago my dad once said that "heaven is a kingdom of use. People in heaven don't just sit around doing nothing- they have a use." Being useful is a blessing, but idle hands can most certainly become the devil's workshop. I am grateful each day for the gifts and the talents that I have been given and that I have been able to cultivate over many years. My customers are quite aware of my talents and they respect me and they appreciate the quality of work that I do for them, and the swiftness in which I can accomplish tasks. It's a rewarding feeling being useful and I am always appreciative for the work.

Being busy, the right kind of busy can truly be a blessing, especially if you work for yourself. So we keep plugging away until tomorrow. The glass is most certainly half full today.

Sometimes it's the little things

As I mentioned in my first post, there have been some challenges and disappointments in my business and personal life recently, and that has caused me to experience minor depression, anxiety and a shortness of temper. I think the older we get, and as creative beings, we tend to have control issues, especially when it comes to the forward direction of our lives. If anything disrupts that control it creates disharmony, and where there is disharmony there is unrest. And where there is unrest, it's hard to stay focused on both our work and home lives.

Without going into detail at the moment, the past three to four months have been challenging to say the least. This past August, my wife and I decided to sell our home in Connecticut and move up north looking for a more peaceful life with less stress and less financial obligations. Everything is more expensive in Connecticut, so we looked around and found a smaller place up in the mountains that seemed like it could work for us and we listed our home for sale. Within two weeks of listing our home we accepted a contract on our home. Things were coming together nicely. We were excited to start our new adventure and everything seemed to be falling into place. We didn't know it at the time, but that could not have been further from the truth... let me explain.

In the past 90 days we purchased a home up north, closed on that home, hired a moving company to move our entire house up north, registered our cars, and unpacked and got settled into our new life. Almost immediately, the contract on our home fell apart and subsequently we also watched five other contracts fall apart. In December our listing expired without a sale on our home and we were left with a few tough decisions to make. You won't believe this but strictly for financial reasons we decided to move back to our house in Connecticut. So we packed up another moving truck, listed our northern home for sale and drove back to Connecticut- moving truck and all. For our neighbors and friends watching this scenario unfold, I must say, we most likely looked like the biggest blundering fools ever to walk this green earth- and I must confess, I couldn't blame them.

As of this writing we have only been back home for about two weeks. Our home up north is now on the market for sale and our Connecticut home is no longer for sale. Business is typically slow this time of year so we are dealing with that, bills are piling up for both homes and our nerves are frazzled, but I am looking for something to be thankful for each and every day. Yesterday we went food shopping and because money is tight I was concerned. On our way to the store I told my wife we need to watch our spending at the store and only get the bare minimum. It was at that moment that she reminded me that a few days ago her sister had sent us a gift card to the very grocery store that we were going to. And there it was... a little blessing for the day. Yesterday's groceries were made possible by the generosity of my sister-in-law and her husband. It may not seem like alot to someone else, but at that moment it was a gift and we needed it desperately.

To be honest, in the current situation we are in, we need multiple blessings daily to get out of the difficulties created by moving twice in 90 days. I know the trouble we are facing is situational and will end, but the pressure today seems a bit much. With everything we are going through it has definitely made me more aware of any blessing or act of kindness that comes our way. For today, we are forward and onward. Let's see what tomorrow brings.

There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

I suppose the title says it all- "30 Blessings". I set myself a challenge to keep me aware of all the good that's happening around me on a daily basis, so as not to get lost in personal anxiety or communal negativity. I decided to journal at least one blessing that happens to me each day for one full month- hence 30 blessings. So what was the catalyst that brought this on?


A month or so ago just after the holidays, I was in the kitchen helping my wife clean up and I noticed a small trinket on the counter that I never paid attention to before. The inscription read: "There is always, always, always something to be thankful for." After reading it I grunted under my breath, "huh", as if it was some new profound revelation that I had never heard of before. Actually, it hit home and made me reflect on my life and especially the past few months and how negative I have been over a number of things that have happened in my life recently. I had faced some difficult challenges with my business and my personal life, and I was sinking into a depression that was mounting daily. Perhaps I will share a few of them in a later post, but for now let me stay on point.

I decided to give this little catch phrase a try, so I stood there in the kitchen for a moment, closed my eyes and purposely set my mind to come up with at least one blessing that I could recognize for that day. Something, anything, grand or simple that I could embrace as a noticeable blessing just for that day. Well, it didn't take but a few seconds and I had my blessing that day. I closed my eyes again for a moment and I thanked God for the blessings in my life and especially the one for that particular day- I was alive! Many people around the world did not wake up that morning and no longer had the blessing of life, but I did. I know that may sound a little cliché, but I had something that no dead person had... an opportunity to live out another day and either make it great or complain all day long. It was in that moment that I knew I needed to change my focus.

That revelation put me in a frame of mind to be more aware on a daily basis of the little blessings that happen each and every day- and to be thankful for them. I have been trying to make it a point every day to be thankful for at least one blessing every day. Maybe it's my own penance for having such a terrible attitude over the past few months, but I feel it's important for me to stay focused on the good and not get overwhelmed with the bad. It's kind of like the glass being half full and not half empty. Or like trying to see the positive in everything; the light at the end of the tunnel is not a speeding freight train barreling down on me, maybe it really is a shimmer of hope. Crazy right?

So, realizing that I am most likely not the only person in the world who struggles with trying to stay positive in the midst of heartache, trouble and the pressures of life, I wanted to create a daily journal of the blessings that I experience each day, so as not to forget just how blessed I truly am; and maybe through my own experience and journal, others may also start to recognize the blessings happening to them on a daily basis that we all, most likely have taken for granted. I know there are the obvious blessings that we all share daily- life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but that's not what I am referring to here. Those are truly blessings that we all share and I do not want to diminish their importance, but I want to focus on the individual blessings that were designed today just for me- no one else. I would imagine that each of us can find at least one custom designed blessing just for us- that is if we look hard enough.

In a perfect world we would all wake up to a blessing first thing in the morning to start our day. However, I am a realist and I know that sometimes we can go all day long struggling and then just before the stroke of midnight something happens that adds a silver lining to the otherwise rough day. Knowing this, I have decided to write about yesterday's blessing each day. That way I can be sure that I have allowed all the blessings to come to me in that 24-hour period without jumping the gun.

So, with that said let me share with you yesterday's blessing.

I had a scheduled dentist appointment for a routine cleaning in the morning. This time of year is normally slow for our business so I am constantly aware of our funds and how much to spend. I arrived at my appointment and had the cleaning. The dentist happens to be a friend of mine and a few days earlier I had written an article for him for a local publication at his request. After my appointment he came to me and told me that my cleaning was no charge because I had written the article for him. I was a little surprised but touched by his generosity. The bill was twice what I was going to charge him for the article and I told him so. He didn't waiver- he simply said "we're all set." I thanked him and immediately I said a silent thank you to The Lord for this gift- this blessing. This was not a generic blessing for all people on this day- this was a custom designed gift on that day just for me. This was my own personal daily blessing. It's kind of humbling when you think about it.

Of course, there were probably multiple blessings for the rest of the day that went unnoticed, but I had my blessing for the day- and that was all that mattered for the moment. I hope you also had the opportunity today to recognize at least one blessing that happened to you and own it as your own custom designed gift for the day. Let's keep counting.